gonna redo this real quick. first of all, havent been on here in forever. lets say that :')
i have changed my mind about leaving. i suppose spending a bit of time here is nice.
we have osdd-1b and probably a few anxiety disorders and adhd but im not self-diagnosing cus it makes me uncomfortable doing it on ourselves.
'''names:''' birby (main name), celdua/cel (newer name), savior, salv, irl name, just dont call me something masculine ig
currently have 16 alters, hosts are me (Birby) and Claude.
'''gender:''' female. probably. or demigirl, at the least i dont really care at this point
almost all of our fronts are voluntary and controlled
'''orientation:''' pansexual. i used to id as a lot of different things. i used to be on the ace spectrum so i will occasionally speak for ace people if this is ok with anyone.
dont mention claude's phobias around us please (read his description for more information) it can cause him to front and experience bad anxiety symptoms.
'''amory:''' ambiamory (syndeamory). i am in a monogamous relationship but i am currently interested in an addition to the relationship. dunno when that will happen
dni if you support or are friends with "the just light system" "genericalias" "the ragtag system" or whatever alias you think they go by. <small>(the host was awful to me and while i admit i wasnt too great to them following the part where i ended our friendship either, they just decided it would be nice if they turned me cutting off an unhealthy and toxic relationship into me and the people i care about being toxic and untrustworthy, and causing drama in my friend's own group. my emotions kinda overtook me and i did somethings i think were too far, but it still remains the same. the host was awful to me, their protectors never told the host to stop and only supported their behavior. and id rather you dont talk to us if you support them. plus they lie about me doxxing them i just- ??? i never did that i do not know what they look like at all.)</small>
'''pronouns:''' id like to be referred to by my names instead of my pronouns when referring to me in third person, if possible. fae/they is preferred if not, and if you have trouble with those, please feel free to use she/her. do not refer to me with masculine pronouns (especially he/him) please! i am having haha funny obsessive identity problem and it will probably freak me out or something! :(
'''mental brain salad:'''
BIrby/Salv
* - i cannot word. like. words. words.... sometimes my wording is strange or doesnt make sense sorry
body age
* - there are specific things that can either upset me or panic me. i will not say them because i value my privacy lol
* - i sometimes refer to this dude named "amledd" thats me. its a part of my brain that is being weird
* - i have a therapist. we havent made much progress yet but i am hoping to figure out what is wrong with me.
* - i may or may not have anxiety/depression, adhd, ocd or something my brain is not okay- thats all i know. so dont tell me i have something or dont because im not diagnosed. Do not recommend "self-diagnosis" or try to "diagnose" me. I do not trust myself with diagnosis nor do i trust other people to do it unless they are qualified mental health professionals. I am fine with ppl doing self-diagnosis (educated, mind you.) but i am not interested. Sorry.
* - i am trying to get diagnosed though! for some reason saying "i think i have (insert disorder here)" is like impossible to my therapist in my head so it will be awhile
*- i have trouble remembering triggers and stuff so if i accidently upset anyone, pls let me know... and i also sometimes use the wrong terminology, please correct me on this, i am open to improvement on my language.
role: host, core, reforming persecutor
pronouns: she/they/fae
me: 99% of the time ive spent here has just been me. i usually front
Claude/"Occult" (was a false name)
23
role: co-host, trauma holder, sexual alter and fictive
pronouns: he/him
i make characters and i draw a lot to cope with my environment. i draw vent art more than the average person, or at least i think i do. keep that in mind as well
him: doesnt get on a lot, i dont think he likes this place very much, honestly. id say, please just dont talk about anything thats going to mention the 2nd element on the periodic table, or images or words or anything that would trigger his globophobia, as it can cause him to have a p***c a****k if you get too pushy about it and we really dont want that to happen. but since you cant say the word either dont put "tw (word)" cus that will also make him anxious. since he gives most of us all his symptoms, dont mention it at all. just put NULL dont look and we'll be fine, if you do it properly.
he cant speak with people very often because well, an unhealthy coping mechanism he had made it so when he fronts, his voice is much higher than anyone else in the system. he loves talking, just has a lot of voice anxiety because it humilates him a lot. if you ever have the chance, go ahead and talk to him, he's really an amazing person and my best friend.
== besties ==
<br />just gonna put my besties o'er here so i dont forget
(by reference, the body's voice is 165-255 hz, so normal. his is 210-350 hz so you can imagine its very noticable)
'''not very close/minor friends:'''
my trust level can vary with these ppl and they probably dont know much about me. mains reasons probably being that they do not get outta there way to dm me. and they disappear in our conversations a lot. i dont mind either of those issues but its kinda hard to get close when you hardly talk to me privately. or i just dont get too chaotic with them lol
Inkuri
sometimes when we befriend each other i may instantly or not instantly categorize you as an "average trust friend". it depends on my comfort and your willingness to speak with me.
16
axel(2), floufe, darogan, (wip)
role: optimist, mostive
pronouns: she/they
'''group talk friends:'''
i hardly dm them but are average trust friends, i vent to them occasionally but i am very vague. i usually talk to them either together or with others.
Wisdom
katie, bred, (wip),
27
'''average trust friends:'''
role: protector
just like group friends but i actually dm them lol, or they dont do group discussion. these are just normal friends. they may or may not be permitted to see my vents, it varies, but they dont know my worse things. i might speak to them daily, but
pronouns: he/they
Electras
ratsy, stink rat, pixx, iota, (wip)
25
'''close friends:'''
role: protector
people i talk to a lot. usually show vents but they dont know everything
pronouns: he/him
cin, (wip)
'''best friends:'''
Alpha X
they know things. i talk to them a lot
12
feenix, nabon system, ira, jacob, canis,
role: little, fustive/quoisourced
'''sandlot:'''
pronouns: she/her
rukka, chi
'''irl friends or friends of irls:'''
Ceres (they stylize it as CERES)
they know personal information and have either seen me in real life, or my irl friends in real life
19
trust levels vary and may or may not know things
role: none really, a "representative" maybe
kaiju, koibee, riri, sorrel, hayden, axel (1), diya, mars, irman, fetus, cloud
pronouns: any but she/her and emojiprns, prefers he/they
'''significant other(s):'''
my partner(s). im ambiam so i can have more than 1. know just about as much as best friends combined with irl friends... ig
Shinji
askata.
100s of years old??
role: persecutor, protector, mostive
pronouns: she/her
Fluorine
ageless
role: none, conceptive
pronouns: she/her
Kharisma
15
role: avenger/protector
pronouns: she/they
Zane
18
role: protector
pronouns: he/him
Carbon
ageless
role: none, conceptive
pronouns: she/her
Nitrogen
ageless
role: none, conceptive
pronouns: he/him
The All-Seeing Eye
ageless
role: fragment, exogod
pronouns: she/her
Fini
Ageless
Role: Mostive, Caretaker, maybe.
Pronouns: He/they
Nice to be here.
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